It's Official, Gwen's Life is Over!


Either way it was another victory for mullets and visors the size of a XL pizza. With only one uncle in attendance, we were able to totally make our place look like Zahm room 356! Get ready for the July 4th Eating contest, it is about to be on like Whipplecheck. Defending Champion will be in attendance, at least in spirit if not person! To flipper soccer and the worst feeling in your stomach after eating contests! It's eating season!
Other great things that we saw while at the game.
A bunch of fossils.
The handlebar mustache.
A really small kid.
Ryan Heinberg.
A sharply spiked kid.
Even some baseball.
It's your call!
I think she is what Richard Watts is to this definition. But if she does pound pitchers and wear t-shirts sometimes, maybe she can make it up to us one year. Then we'll rewrite the def. of Richard Watts!
Pretensious:
1 : characterized by pretension : as a : making usually unjustified or excessive claims (as of value or standing)
Raffi and i were just there to check out our good friend Patrick Auger. He was jockeying a horse named Buck Tuddy Buck. All the other jockeys were Armenian, yet none of them won.
The food and spirits were good, the girls were so happy they could barely open there eyes. Levinsteinberg felt like pooh, and he yakked in the parking lot! Raff and i ate all the bread in the restaurant. It was delish!
With my new best friends, we saw a few horses, smelled them, and checked out how jacked they were. One of the chicks even pointed out that some horses have ghettos booties! Not bad. I would have never known this without attending the races.
All i know is people that like horse races are weird! It takes one to know one.
...to get a Jelly Donut! He conquered. Good work Juan! Then came a punch out between Tron and Juan, again working the bi's and tri's seemed to be the best preparation for this. The tape exclusively covers this match-up between our 2 favorite characters for the night.
This was all good training for the half ironman that i have in 3 weeks (May 6), I was sure that I got plenty of training in at the party. Even our old friend Diddy and his old roommate Mox made an appearance!The chaos was worth it. Pinatas, group hugs and tons of eggs that we never ate! It was such a mess, but you know what, the Easter bunny brought us a keg and we were thirsty. It was again a monumental day, wearing red, white, and blue, and sometimes even bike helmets.
One of these years we may grow up, but until then lets just keep having fun. We will eventually get to that point where kegs and easter eggs should be held only every other year, but I still believe everyone needs that outlet to have pinatas on days other than cinco de Mayo and chanukak! It looks as if Wild Turkey and Tron were still friends after the Kegs and Egg-lesss Easter party. I think we'll be doing the same for years to come, but next year we'll
l make sure we invite the rest of you!
My cousin Matt is definitely what you call a ladies' Man. He has been known to drink courvoisier and turn on the charm when he needs. But as you can see, Matt has grown up to be the ladies Superman through all those years of intense training. His idol since a young age was none other than the Supertard! Since he found him on mulletsgalore years ago Matt has been powergrinding and powerlunging his way to the top. Matt has only one goal in mind, and that is to break a record no man could attempt to even come close to without bearing the weight of an entire nation on his back. This Superman believes that breaking Wilt Chamberlain's record for doing the grown up with more women in his lifetime will finally bring credibility to his status as the ladies' man and also be something that he can leave behind for all of his family to be proud of. And this is why Matt should be known as the ladies man.
Wassup now Wilt?